Closed Eyed Insomnia

by A.L. Laureate

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about

This concept album is a direct look into the mind of A.L. Laureate far from the emcee or the poet. This is a personal in depth look of the life of Alex Larenas the person. Closed Eyed Insomnia is based on true events presented in audio format within a time span of 7 days. In each day you will see various events that have brought pain, strife, and questions about his personal existence. This album came about after sleepless nights of anxiety,self-paranoia, and heavy depression. As shocking as it may be to many his heart is poured out throughout this album so be advised this album will be hard to swallow but in all its fairness its 100 percent reality from the tormented soul of a man.

credits

released November 11, 2011

Album Cover Design: Sean L. Miller (www.seanlmiller.com)
Recorded by: Alex Larenas at The Efficiency Miami, FL
Mixed and Mastered by: Michael "St. Mic" Moxham (timeless.shogun@gmail.com)
Track 1: Produced by Symphonic
Track 2,3,4,5: Produced by DJ Frantic
Track 6: Produced by Teddy Roxpin
Track 7: Produced by Fritz The Cat

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Track Name: Lluvia (Fresh From Above) feat. Praverb the Wyse
Verse 1: (A.L. Laureate)

dear lord i thank you for another day of life
the oxygen i breathe a chance to believe
the forecast looks quite superb
i feel his cool breeze my memories purge
its sunday it sure is sunny
im feeling hot i look to the sky for some heavenly drops
a voice from inside says ill protect ya
we a perfect song im the beat you the acapella
faith in the invisible seems cliche
but gods pain drains from the sky into rain
i know you aint far
you around the corner
set to erase scars
the moment will call on ya
drops of love come down from above
but it still seems unreal to some
in this prayer i claim whenever it rains
let it be gentle to the eyes of the spirit in your name amen

Hook : (Spanish)

Puede ser que venga manana sin tardar
Puede ser que tengas que esperar
Lluvia estoy contando al cielo
Yo creo que esta agua bastara

Verse 2: (Praverb the Wyse)

Thank you for another day, able to rise
Take a shower, wash the rain from my eyes
Feeling pure, release the pain that's inside
Endure, on a journey where the fables and lines
Become a way of our times//
Baptized, in Holy Water, on the Sabbath day
Recalled memories, they are scattered frames
Brothers from another mother, we react the same
We rush the ball, others just pass to gain//
Yards, same scars on some plain skin
We childlike raised in the same playpen
We had crowded minds, the spirit of God
Will organize your thought process, make it vacant//
Rain has a rhythm, and a melody
On a sad day, it provides a remedy
When it is bright, you see a rainbow
Thank you God, for this day and a halo//

Hook:

Puede ser que venga manana sin tardar
Puede ser que tengas que esperar
Lluvia
Track Name: Automated Negligence
Verse 1:

july 12 1987
the resurgence of hate brings me into this earth
with a curse
directed from my father cause to him i was a bother
from the start i was rejected he dont seem to regret it
moms was beat spat at with hate
flipped her confidence in men into a distrust in all of them
4 years into this earth barely new this individual
hes what you would call a deadbeat and a criminal
i talk to myself question his decisions
i could always sense he would never pass the outerlimits
of knowing me giving me love where its supposed to be
thank god for my mom protecting me from such harm
damn he couldnt do this for me 2?
was it his messed up upbringing
or something more conflicting
problems of his past got lost in the dash
but rather than go through them he hid his demons in his stash

Hook 1:

whats life when your circle around the same thing
thinking heavy of situations its nonexisting
inherits without choice
listened to the lower power
programming his soul and spirit to be sour
cant fight it
naw naw
hes in a crisis
quantized to the tempo of satan and his likeness
he dont want me i guess ill never know why
his negligence is live and mortified

Verse 2:

all this has led me to be subdued
on a route paved down onto a crushed groove
with both hands on my head i frown and descend
to a place where failure continues to regress
i detest whove i become
unlike my peers i tend to disagree with me being a good son
i pray my mother forgives me your son doesnt think highly of himself
im quiet but really screaming out for help
what's this
insanity and paranoia
my delusion
since i left california
at age 23 i could see it
depression followed me b4 birth it aint genetically a secret
now that yall know
its shocking to behold
how a dude so nice could think so low
in my defense if theres one thing i could say
demons stay locked in my brain every second of the day

Hook 2:

whats life i circle around the same thing
thinking heavy of situations its nonexisting
inherit without choice
listen to the lower power
programming my soul and spirit to be sour
cant fight it
naw naw
im in a crisis
quantized to the tempo of satan and his likeness
i dont want it i guess ill never know why
my negligence is live and mortified
Track Name: Black on Black Camaros
im outta bed once again
slip on my sneaks still asleep
hoping its friday but its only mid week
i reach for my keys and there it be
a black 1960 camaro the purest form of poetry
it reveals its prestige from the headlights down to the chassis
i break it down for a better understanding
i was basically born inside of this car
look past the machinery tell me how this is steering me
take the classic paint unblemished by the rain
the hardtop roof dodging heat from hells face
the engine packs more power more comfort
speed limit breeze the car forever stays younger
the care and the work
pushed to the point where it hurts
miles add on the more it exerts
i know what its worth
but its priceless for words
till the instance everything started going in reverse
my mind created obstacles with my driving
from primitive speaking to adulterated meanings
beautiful to experience what im feeling now
another car that inhales love and breathes out a smile
its a different sentiment
the more that i approach it the more i feel like gettin in
its kind hard to comprehend take a listen ill explain
how my days in this world would never be the same
captivated the day i layed eyes on it
a black 91 camaro had me talkin ebonics
curiosity overtook my shyness
its convertible top had me speeding through life without a license
no need to rewrite this the roar of the exhaust had me smitten
locked to the wheel together every instant
rev up the engine protection came sittin inside
not the joyride i fell in love i was given the time
flirted with the gas pedal for a bit
the action and excitement lead to other incentives
resisted agitation with speed
i perceived the car had me feelin like i was driving christine
what did all of this mean
a real dream i created
or a nightmare with the other camaro sedated
anger from one another it saddens me to uncover
the animosity dwelling with my mother and my lover
tires screech creating burnouts from both sides
its ever so silent but its a massacre in my mind
two women who exercised love since it struck
they look at me now like you must choose between us
in the center of a demolition already in progress
praying to the lord to please stop this process
i drop to my knees with tears on my cheeks
they crash into my heart it scatters on the street
Track Name: Wait Gain
Verse 1:

i awaken again trapped in a frivolous scheme
ndigenous to the dream of well being
you know the attention deficit the world reveals
how to lie how to kill the embodiment spreads with such skill
im patient my rhymes become distortioned in cadence
tired of waiting im itching to relieve this craving ive been tasting
its like junkies needin a rock needin a shot
rappers stuck on making whats hot
take a look and listen at everybodies hit list
nonstop gluttany with the limits presented
how much time should i fall back
i had enough the time has come for my heat to dissolve rap
days of waiting on deck are over
shaking in sub-zero weather gettin the cold shoulder
unleashing arsenals of bombs you could keep
with words to show my craziness unleashed

Hook:

the anger the pain
where does it go to sustain
i try to fight back
the wait gains the more my time lapses
i wont change no i repeat i wont change
no good will ever stick to me
every time its tried it runs away to be free

Verse 2:


it took mad will and strength to write this verse
the mere thought of it breaks me down till it hurts
the time we spent together love was the language of choice
you and i one voice now our eyes become moist
a dehidarated soul regenerates in fear
anger discontent i cant blame you i put it on me
karma rubs in deep into my skin please hear my voice apologizing
i surely get mine for the rest of my life
i never crossed the line of respect it got dimmer
fed up of my retention in depression
waiting for change erupted arguments and hot tempers
ill never forget you your imprinted in my heart
the end is the power of descent over the start
back then to right now i want you to hear me now
i hope you find the happiness you talked to me about
Track Name: Off Beat Dance
Verse 1:

it seems imma have to get this going
time to show out and throw out the craziness im forming
i need liquor to better paint this picture
i call triback
whut up
tell me where the party at?
up in the spot leaning on the wall
bottle in hand i hear the voice of drunkenness call
people start to notice
gossip about the motives
i cant think straight but thats how i keep focus
i dont two step i just vibe
to the sounds of whatever feels right
my shoulders bounce cause of hypnotic and henny
my feet move to the flow of ciroc red berry
words slurred
eyes bloodshot burned
not to mention my eye eye eye vision is blurred
yall ready ima do this once so please follow
this is the way you party like there aint no tommorrow

Hook:

dance
fellas
dance
put your drink up do the off beat dance
dance
alright
dance
do what you do to this off beat dance
bailen
mujeres
bailen
dejen que el alcohol las arrebaten
bailen
asi
bailen
dejate de pena que esto es gozadera

Verse 2: (Spanish)

mamita esto na mas es pal momento
me encanta como te vez pero ya tu sabes eso
anhelo que el alcohol nos lleve a tu apartamento
y demostarte porque me dicen el hombre de hacero
HA!!!!!!!
el bailoteo me tiene mariado
pero de buenas a primeras me tienes concentrado
en tu cuerpo y tu piel
la manera que te mueves tan illusa sin poder detener
pa ariba pa abajo
mi mente da vueltas disfrutando tus encantos
borracho con la botella en mi mano
bailando
pero todavia sigo gozando
el alcohol me tiene observando belleza
seas tu o esta otra hembra
que sera que hago me meto otro trago
o me voy con esta hembra a bailar a otro lado

Verse 3:

get loose
come on
dance and break rules
get the bottles and ladies to the other room
you know how it goes it gets liver than live
if you fall down
get up
cause you doing it right
bottles to the head
what up
girls getting bent
thats right
acting a fool forgetting what you said

dale como quieras
dame mas botellas
estas la noche tuya y mia cosa bella

Repeat Hook


DJ Grazzhoppa Solo
Track Name: Late Night Drive
Verse 1:

its been a long night the clock hits 12
enterin the zone sidewinded walk to my car
turn off the alarm my eyes swiveled around
grabbed the door handle so i wouldnt fall down
opened the door put the bottle in the cup holder
still sober drunkenness it comes closer
i took a seat turned the key
lit up a cigarrette then put the car in D
got my black shades on wit hnic 2 echoing through the speakers
driving around no precise place i got be in
the setting is great and i aint trying to leave it
traffic lights blink to the snares in the beat
sounds of the night arouse the evilness within me
blowin smoke guzzling the liquor
still i keep a eye on my rear view mirror
back track to the beginning of the week
everythings good its was a web of deceit
reached to the passenger seat for a different cd
i got pain i need to be free
i take a huge hit off the cig hold it in
chase it with the liq its the vengefulness of sin
wait all ive done is wait
broke hard for too long i now accelerate
melodic vibes blend in with closed eyes
crooning off key to slow paced rnb
i speed up now im going 90
my eyes closing but adrenaline kept rising
which reminds me of hate from my father
the loss of my lover
couldn't place her over my mother
the car began shaking i paid no attention
then it stopped sumthins wrong with the engine
smoke entered the car at large rates
i reclined my seat back
spaced out in the haze
the roof of the car became a watercolor painting
found a shortcut in the labyrinth i was making
signals up top started forming a scene
swating smoke to define anything to see
as i looked halogen lights had me squinting
then screeching tires awoke me to the crash id been in
my car totaled hoping it wasnt real
the windshield shattered debris covered my face
with no faith left judgments been detained
ill burn another one down death is running late
i see the ambulance hear sirens coming closer
i feel faint heart is beating slower
just as the emts went to pull me out of the wreckage
i blacked out in the middle of my sentence
Track Name: Here It Lies (I Wish) feat. Anjuli Stars
Hook: (Anjuli Stars)

And i wish that i could be born again
Redo all my wrongs and do it all again
And i wish that i could be born again
You wonder why
just look up to the sky
Im calling

Verse 2:

im dead the passageway to hell is wide open
heaven calls from afar but god is soft spoken
the soundtrack to satan is amusing
hell was a possibility i made the trip all inclusive
low self esteem tagged along in bottles of alcohol
killin my every thought
poison was chosen
rewrote my life story made it bitter
subservient to the urge of this sinner
i was given love i took it for granite
never accomplished things cause of personal entrapment
my souls torn face disfigured
i smell the brimstone burning my voice quivers
i let out a whimper
the surface opened i was lead to a picture
i couldnt believe what it was
its me in a casket so i see what wishful thinking does


Hook:

And i wish that i could be born again
Redo all my wrongs and do it all again
And i wish that i could be born again
You wonder why
just look up to the sky
Im calling

Verse 2:

opinions and theories became disoriented
dangling through the cobwebs of the past
and at last i feel death first hand
with no need to dilute any method that it used
i look at my body the blood drippin down it
disinterest in life lies kept me frownin
i took deception a tad further
im now here playing back the last 23 years
my dad wasn't with me
the moment i was born
my moms showed me love
i still felt alone
my girl was my world
cant believe i let her go
tears turn bloody
trying to reveal sumthing
how could i uncover
emptyness within
my best option is a paper and a pen
last seconds of life i end my last writes
with a wounded heart hoping repentment will suffice

Hook (2x)